I have been on a journey of gratitude and it creates a deep and very real and abiding joy. As I’m scrubbing down the kitchen, ironing Matt’s shirt for church, or sipping a cup of coffee, I’ve begun to give thanks in short, breath prayers. As I breathe out thanks, out goes the worry and the cares for the day and in enters more of His Spirit, and the joy overflows.
But how quick I am to forget that in all things He is good, whether that means all is peace and patience or I have come to the end of myself and just can’t make it on my own.
I turned 32 last week. I am no longer thirty, nor one year past. I am, I feel, in my thirties and that seems daunting, because isn’t a person in their thirties truly an adult? So often, I look around my home at scattered toys, folded or unfolded laundry, and three sets of eyes and smiles looking up at me and I wonder how I got here.
Was it really eleven years ago that Matt and I started dating? Time sure flies. I started out last week wanting to write thirty-two thanks for graces, but life happens and it didn’t.
Right before we walked out the door for my birthday date on Tuesday, Bethany threw up all over the kitchen floor. I cleaned it up and mopped and was assured that I shouldn’t worry about going out anyhow.
Wednesday morning, Lucas said his milk tasted funny and we discovered that the refrigerator (only a year and a half old) was no longer cooling. We later found out that the repair man couldn’t come until Thursday. Of course the one part not covered in the warranty was the computer and what else would our fridge need repaired? Nothing. It just needs a new computer. Because the part wasn’t covered in the warranty, the nearly four-hundred dollars worth of food loss would not be covered either.
The part had to be ordered and was not put in until this afternoon.
Friday afternoon Lucas was picked up from school, limping. Just by lifting his pant leg and seeing an ankle three times its normal size, we knew we had to go to the hospital. Three hours and a temporary cast later, we left to wait for Monday to arrive with more appointments and hopefully some answers.
I am thinking about bills and injuries and a huge grocery shopping trip to replace food and I want to panic, but worry and joy have no relationship and I must choose joy.
In times like these I understand that praise can be a sacrifice, and here I am and all I want to do is give thanks. So nearly a week late, thirty-two thanks.
51. summer squash growing in the garden
52. Nikki’s beautiful smile and sweet spirit
53. the use of Robin’s freezer to preserve some of our frozen meat
54. Nicholas’ sweaty head when he’s sound asleep
56. Grace’s yummy bbq and baked beans
57. hanging plants
58. the smell of jasmine
59. a house that has been clean for a week and a half (that is huge for me with these tiny little mess makers)
60. my black and pink flannel pajamas
61. two yummy meals from Robin when I couldn’t cook
62. the way it seems our money was multiplied when we had to eat out several times over the past six days
63. watching Matt enjoy a documentary about Cajun women and the way they iron
64. listening to Matt’s impersonation of said Cajun women
65. clean sheets
67. answered prayers
68. friendships birthed in prayer
69. Starbucks gift cards
70. differentiation and growing up
71. kissing Bethany’s cushy cheeks
72. Nicholas’ BIG blue eyes
73. Lucas’ tiny top lip
74. the way my nose fits perfectly in Matt’s ear
75. Allison’s cinnamon chocolate chip coffee cake
77. my kids’ wonderful pediatrician
78. Jessica and how much my kids’ (and we) love her
79. tiny Japanese eggplants hanging all over my plant
80. anticipating a big rhubarb harvest next year
81. bread rising
82. God’s graces never ending